Taking Care of Yourself // Alone Time

Humor me for a moment. Think back. Way back. You’re about five years old and you’re playing with a friend amongst several toys strewn about the floor. You pick up a toy and your friend immediately wants to play with that very toy at that very moment. It always seems to happen that way, doesn’t it? He reaches for it, you protest, your teacher looks over and says “Remember to share!”

Oh the injustice! You might pout a bit, but you hand the toy over. And, of course, your friend almost immediately loses interest in it. But that’s a different story for a different day.

From a very young age, we are taught to share. We’re taught to go second, break the cookie in two, lend out your favorite pair of shoes. And I’m not about to sit here and tell you that these are bad things! It’s good for us to give to others. The world would be a better place if everyone shared just a little more. ​

But you can only share so much of yourself.

You may have heard the adage “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” As adults, we spend a great deal of our time giving to others. You give your time, your attention, your energy. You give to your spouse. You give to your friends. You give to your boss. And if you’re a parent, you give (and give and give and give) to your children. With barely a chance to refill, all that giving eventually runs you dry. There is no more left to pour, so to speak.

I found myself feeling that way last week. Nothing in particular happened to make me feel that way, I just did. I had been giving a lot to my life, to my loves, to my business. So I got away.

I mentioned in my last post that I’m an extrovert. I love people and being around them, but even I need a recharge once in awhile. In the middle of last week I realized I had a couple of days with nothing on my calendar, so I kissed my husband goodbye and jetted down to Ocean City, MD for a couple of days. Completely alone.

It. Was. Amazing.

Being alone was therapeutic. For that moment in time the only person I had to worry about was me. No one expected me to do something productive around the house. No one expected me at an appointment at a specific time. No one expected me to call them up and chat about their life. And guess what? I ended up being 10X more productive when I got home! I suddenly had the energy for things that had seemed impossible the week before.

I’m not writing this post to brag about the glorious alone time I had. I’m writing it to encourage you to take some alone time for yourself. It can feel so selfish to take alone time. Moms (and Dads!) especially struggle with this. You brought these little humans into the world, how dare you want to be away from them? But it’s OK to get away. In fact, it’s important to. I know not everyone can decide in the middle of the week to leave for a few days. I know not everyone has an empty condo just a few hours away waiting for them. If anything, the time away allowed me to acknowledge and be truly grateful for all I have in life. 

If there is any way for you to grab some alone time, even if it is just an hour or two, do it. Try to bite back the guilt that threatens to consume you because you need to be with just yourself every now and then. Give to yourself. Share with no one. Get in touch with your thoughts. Listen to only you for just a little bit. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Give yourself a refill.